World Fails to Meet Woman's Expectations for 42nd Straight Year

A Manhattan woman expressed regret and dismay after the world failed yet again to meet her expectations in 2008. According to a friend, Jennifer Tarpley’s modest goals for the year included getting the kids to bed earlier, improving the family’s diet, coming up with a better system for paying bills, and helping her husband be more emotionally accessible. Despite her best efforts, nothing really changed. The woman’s frustrations peaked in December when she reportedly discovered her husband and kids eating Cap’n Crunch in front of the TV after telling them 15 minutes earlier that she was planning to fix chicken. “She almost feels as if she was the only one who was really committed to making the changes happen,” said the friend.