Medical Experts Baffled as Former Cute and Cuddly Kids Morph Into Stringy Haired Hobos

Two New York City boys are under observation by health officials after mysteriously transforming from sweet-looking children into wild-haired, beast-like creatures in a matter of months. The parents told authorities they first became alarmed when the boys, ages 7 and 10, began receiving girls’ Happy Meal toys. Since then, the boys have been offered food at a local soup kitchen, opened for AC/DC at Shea Stadium, and been cast in a remake of “Dazed and Confused.” Health experts and the boys’ parents remain baffled by the cause.